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New Alcohol Warnings - Safety
Related
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer
manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like a wanker.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
the same boring story over and over again until your
friends want to smash your head in.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them
at 4 in the morning.
(More great jokes and stories at www.agiftofpoetry.com
!)
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
have mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose name and/or species you can't remember).
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, more attractive, and
smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing with you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space
continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem
to literally disappear.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.
:)
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:)