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New Alcohol Warnings - Safety Related

 Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer
manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's
 suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
 immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
 are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
 dancing like a wanker.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell
 the same boring story over and over again until your
 friends want to smash your head in.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
 shings like thish.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them
 at 4 in the morning.

(More great jokes and stories at www.agiftofpoetry.com !)

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you
 wondering what the hell happened to your trousers.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
 can logically converse with other members of the
 opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
 have mystical Kung Fu powers.

 WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
 over in the morning and see something really scary
 (whose name and/or species you can't remember).

 WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause
 of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

 WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the
 illusion that you are tougher, more attractive, and
smarter than some really, really big guy named Franz.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to
 believe you are invisible.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
 people are laughing with you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause a flux in the time-space
 continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem
to literally disappear.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

:)

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:)