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You Da Man
Test !
One for you boys!! Check to see if you're a man...
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be
referred to as:
A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've
both shared:
A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
B. Your blood-test results
C. Five tequila slammers
3. You time your orgasm so that:
A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss Match Of The Day.
4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
A. Healthy, creative love-play
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out
about.
5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with
is:
A. The best part of the experience
B. The second best part of the experience
C. $100 extra
6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You
tell her that it is:
A. No concern to you
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym
C. A conservative estimate.
7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A Moron
8. Foreplay is to sex as:
A. Appetiser is to entree
B. Primer is to paint
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride
9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying
at the end of a relationship?
A. 'I hope we can still be friends'
B. 'I'm not in right now, please leave a message at
the beep.'
C. 'Welcome to Dumpsville, population: YOU.'
10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort
of Intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.
EVALUATING RESULTS:
If you answered 'A' more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really
ARE a man!!
If you answered 'B' more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little
confused.
If you answered 'C' more than 7 times, 'YOU DA MAN!'
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