Funny 40th Birthday Poem (with sex references)

If you're looking for a funny 40th birthday poem then A Gift of Poetry makes a great gift. Roast and toast, funny, or just plain loving and sentimental, all can be achieved (as each gift is uniquely written). Here's a good example; Neil wanted something special for his wife's 40th birthday party. I've included an excerpt from his request, so you can see where I have included the various elements in the poem. I'm sure you can work out the rest…

"….Cool. Can make a joke about how we are going to italy and spain this summer just the 2 of us and the only thing that I required was that we see bruce on the last night of our trip in san sebastian, spain. Allen, I look forward to the wonderful work that you have done. I wanted to add one other attribute to my wifes poem: She was raised in Long Island, New York. After we got married we moved to New Jersey. I kid her that she is no longer a long Island girl and now a “Jersey Girl”. I am a huge Bruce Springsteen fan who is one of New Jerseys most famous celebrities along with the TV Show, “The Sopranos”. Maybe you can also weave in a funny reference with that as well. Thanks again. Neil…..(and after the second draft)…Allen, A few more comments. Thanks again. We are definilty getting there. You can throw in a sex reference if you want….something along the lines of when the kids are gone for 7 weeks at summer camp there will be a lot of time for sex……I don't know…you are the witty one. By the way…saw Bruce last night….AWESOME! Thanks, Neil

Jersey Girl

Hello, you wonderful ladies,
can I have your attention please?
Because every now and then in life,
there's opportunity you should seize.

And that moment is surely upon us,
after all, 40 years ago, Andrea came to Earth,
and yes, my Jersey Girl, I wanted to say thank you,
yes, I do appreciate your true and honest worth.

You're no longer a Long Island girl, because
you're my Jersey Girl, through and through,
and even if you have to compete with Tony and Bruce,
they've got no chance, as I'm so in love with you.

Ok, I admit it, I love them both too,
but you know, it's in a slightly different way,
and Andrea, I just wanted to say "I love you",
but that one line leaves so much to say:

Because it'll be the two of us in Spain and Italy,
ok, I admit, Bruce will be with us for just one night,
but at least you're leaving the Michigan girls at home,
yes, me and six girls, now, wouldn't that be alright?

But seriously, Andrea I did want to say thank you,
I've married Superwoman, there is very little doubt,
and ever since we've been married, you've taught me much,
indeed, you've taught me what true love is all about.

You're great!! A beautiful and hardworking wife,
and yes, what man would ever ask for more?
I guess I just wanted to thank you for being you,
yes, I guess that's what these words are really for.

Because you wake up at the crack of dawn, work out,
then shower, then wake up the kids and prepare their lunch,
you drive them to school, then work in a high powered position,
then it's dinner, homework, boy! Your day sure packs a punch!

It's amazing that we ever find time to have sex,
(and I'd like to assure the audience, we certainly do),
and let me tell you folks, Andrea has always been a perfectionist,
so, six or seven orgasms, until my Johnson's black and blue!!

Actually, it's quite tiring when the kids away,
just think, for 7 weeks they'll be camping by moonlight,
and meanwhile, I am stuck with the 'insatiable one',
it's bloody exhausting, night after night after night!

Seriously, Andrea's always been very bright, a genius,
and she demands the same from our children, Sammi and Max,
and Sammi does very well in school, she's High Honor Roll, and
Max does very well too (but like me, he can at times, be somewhat lax).

But, Andrea, you're a great mother, sister, daughter and Aunt,
and I know I'm so lucky to have Superwoman for a wife,
and Andrea, I just wanted to thank you for being you,
to thank you for making such a difference to my life.

I also wanted to say Happy 40th Birthday,
I guess that's really what these words are for,
here's to you, My Jersey Girl, you're truly wonderful,
and here's to our everlasting love, for evermore.

Copyright Allen Jesson 2008
www.agiftofpoetry.com