1. Poem Of The Week - Nan's Recipe

2. Joke Of The Week - The Dog (a classic !)

 3. Time Management Tip - This is so simple and effective.

4. Enjoy Life Tip

5. Stress Management Tip - Two circles that could change your life !

6. Finish Off With A Smile

Nan's Recipe (For Life)

The Cake:
Be quick with praise and compliments.
Never let little things go unnoticed.
Make every person you meet feel like the most important person in the
 world.

Let your delight become theirs.

Be devoted to your God and be there for other people.
Live your life with zest and zeal and energize the people around you.
Do things you like to do and indulge in your hearts desire.
Dress up like a pumpkin.

Never slight or neglect one person and invite strangers into your
heart.
Cherish each and every day and never waste a minute.
Come up with a new idea and be ready for adventure.

Never let it be "just another day".

Earn respect from other people.
Be gracious, dignified and honest.
Be unbelievably strong and don't waste time by complaining.

Be faithful to those who count.

Be kind, be cheerful and be supportive.
Love life, laugh, read and pray often.
Put your heart into everything you do.

If it is worth doing it is worth doing well.

The Icing:

Be concerned and do for others for that is the secret to genuine
happiness.

Copyright Allen Jesson :) 2000

2. Joke Of The Week - The Dog (a classic !)

This one is a classic ! :) For more very funny poems and stories please go to

www.agiftofpoetry.com/Funny/funny.htm

THE DOG

A CLASSIC....

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a
most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about
50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a
pit bull dog on a leash.  Behind him were 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity.  He respectfully approached the
man walking the dog and said, "I am so  sorry for your loss, and I
know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral
like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife
when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.

 "Can I borrow the dog?"


"Get in line."

This is a great reliever of stress too. So simple but it really works...

Step 1. Write down all the tasks that you have to do. Go on - ALL of them !

Step 2. Head 4 columns with the following headings:

A. Urgent and Important

B. Urgent but not important

C. Not urgent but Important

D. Not urgent and not important

Step 3. Allocate your tasks to a column depending on the tasks urgency and importance.

Step 4. Carry out the tasks in the following order: A, C, B, D. I know B tasks are urgent, but they are not important - so who cares? If you have any tasks in D and do not get to them - they weren't urgent, they weren't important - so who cares ?

Finally, at the end of the day congratulate yourself on the tasks that you did get done - DO NOT stress over the ones that didn't get done - there is always tomorrow and another list.....

Always take time to smell the roses.

These two circles certainly helped me sort my head out - I hope they work for you too.

Step 1. Firstly, find a quiet corner where you are not likely to be disturbed for about 30 minutes.

Step 2. Next, draw two circles, one inside the other, the larger circle should be the width of an A4 piece of paper, the smaller circle should be about half the size of the larger circle. Good, so now you should have two circles on your page, one inside the other which is about half the size of the larger one.

Step 3. Next, with a pencil, write down IN THE OUTER RING all the things that are causing you stress (THE CAUSES) ie too much work, not enough time etc., Think long and hard here and be open and honest - no one else will see this piece of paper (unless you want them to).

Step 4. Next, write down, on a separate piece of paper, the ACTIONS you need to take to reduce or eliminate the stress caused by each individual CAUSE. If the ACTION is within reach and you think that you can and will do it then move the CAUSE to your INNER CIRCLE, erasing it from the OUTER RING.

Step 5. You should now be left with three things:

A list of stress CAUSES that you can do something about, they are in your INNER CIRCLE.

A list of stress CAUSES that you CANNOT do one thing about, they are the ones left in the OUTER RING.

A list of ACTIONS that you are going to take to reduce your stress levels.

Step 6. One of the most important steps. Complete your list of ACTIONS. If you cannot complete the ACTION for whatever reason then the CAUSE should be moved back to the OUTER RING.

Step 7. LISTEN BIG HERE. Stop worrying about any CAUSES left in your OUTER RING. You CANNOT do anything about them - so stop worrying - kick them out of your OUTER RING by either letting the issue go - or move it inside your INNER CIRCLE by doing something about it. 

Conclusion: To reduce the amount of stress don't let CAUSES get left in the OUTER RING - this is where stress is created.  Change It ! 

I appreciate that there may be some big decisions here....

True Story....(so I'm told)
 
Sometimes it DOES take a Rocket Scientist:
 
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
 
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains.
 
Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.  When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.
 
The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the US scientists for suggestions.
 
NASA responded with a one-line memo:
 
"Thaw the chicken."

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would be most welcome.

Please send your comments to allenjesson@agiftofpoetry.com .

 Thank you.

Ok - Thanks for reading - hope you enjoyed it ! Best regards, Allen

Copyright Allen Jesson :) 2000-2002