5. Stress Management Tip
- Live the good life.
6.
Finish Off With A Smile
I hope you enjoy the
newsletter (and the e-book). Thanks for joining !
1. Poem Of
The Week - The Corporate Warriors
I do a lot of traveling in
my job and people often think it is a glamorous lifestyle. This poem
reflects the reality.
The
Corporate Warriors
The corporate warriors,
Into battle you must fly,
High above the sleeping mortals,
Across the dawn red sky.
Looking good in your pin stripe,
With your Church's leather shoes,
This game is all about winning,
You don't get paid much to lose.
You're obviously in the Club,
Because you always board near last,
Your preference is a window seat,
And your points are growing fast.
You've got the fastest lap-top,
And the smallest mobile phone,
The days are non stop hustle,
The nights you're far from home.
You've got a car that picks you up
Your hotel knows your name,
And there's your favourite strip joint,
Where you nearly play the game.
But you can't look her in the eye,
Because she is someone's daughter,
And now she's doing tricks for you,
That her mother never taught her.
This life should be full of glamour,
But you'd rather be safe at home,
And you're fed up with suitcase life,
And sleeping on your own.
You're tired of the alarm calls,
Been too many before it's five,
And you're fed up with airline food,
And feeling half dead, half alive.
And you worry about your breath,
And your hair starting to grey,
With the other suits getting younger,
Still keen and eager for the day.
But the battle has to go on,
And this won't be for evermore,
Because one day you'll lose the blood lust,
To keep fighting your corporate war.
Copyright Allen Jesson 1999
2. Joke Of
The Week - The Irishman (a classic !)
An Irishman was drinking at the pub all night. The bartender came
up to him and told him that the bar was closing.
So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He
tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he
figured he'd just crawl outside, hang out for a while,
get some fresh air and hopefully
that would sober him up.
Once outside he stood up and fell again - right on his face. He
decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home and when he arrived at
the
door he tried one more time with the same results. Exhausted, he
then gave up
and started crawling to the bedroom.
When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This
time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into
the bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him
shouting at him.
"So, you've been out drinking again!!"
"What makes you say that?" he asked as he put on an innocent
look.
"The pub called, you left your flaming wheelchair there"
3. Time Management Tip
This sounds too simple to be effective but please hear
me out ! There are only 24 hours in one day. You cannot compress
time. You cannot stretch time. You only have the 1440 minutes in any one
day to do what you need to do. Very often in life we will take on an
additional duty, whether at work, at home or somewhere else - and expect
to "squeeze it in". This is fine but life is getting busier
and busier and a lot of people are finding that they simply have too
much to do and cannot "squeeze" anything else in. You need to
recognise that by "squeezing" something in, something else has
to give, that something ends up being "your" time, your time
to relax, sleep, spend with your family or even spend on your own.
Remember, you cannot compress, stretch or even squeeze time - it is
finite! So how do you get around the problem ? Easy ! You say
no - no to the next person who asks what ever demand is made of you that
cuts into "your" time. You have the power to say
"No". Trust me.
4. Enjoy
Life Tip
Get up 30 minutes early and go for a brisk walk. Come
home and have your favourite breakfast. Doesn't matter what happens
after that - you've had a great start to the day !
5. Stress Management
Tip
Exercise
daily. Don't smoke. Don't drink alcohol. Drink lots of water. Eat
vegetarian.
Don't believe me? Try it for
2 weeks (you might be a little grumpy to start) and let me know how
you went.
PS I don't follow this
advice most of the time.........but I feel very good when I do
!
6.
Finish Off With A Smile
Mobile Phones
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. After a few minutes, he starts
dialling numbers.... like a telephone.... but on the back of his hand.
He then flips his hand over, and starts talking into the palm of his
hand.
The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough
neighbourhood
and he doesn't need any trouble from weirdoes here.
The guy says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a
phone
installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the
cellular."
The bartender says "Prove it!", so the guy dials up a number
and hands his
hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand
and carries on a brief conversation. "That's incredible",
says the
bartender, "I would never have believed it!"
"Yeah", said the guy, "I can keep in touch with my
broker, my wife, you
name it. By the way, where is the men's room? The bartender
directs him to the men's room. The guy goes in, and 5, 10, 20 minutes
go
by, and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst, given the violence
in the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. The guy
is
spread-eagle against the wall. His pants are pulled down and
he has a roll of toilet paper shoved up his butt. "Oh my
Gosh!" said the
bartender. "Did the locals rob you? Are you hurt?"
The guy casually turns around, and says: "No, I'm OK. I'm just
waiting for
a fax."
:)
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it to any friends and colleagues that you think may be interested. Any
feedback on this newsletter or the site (address is www.agiftofpoetry.com)
would be most welcome.
